Those functions are cool as long as one can decide if they are public or not.

Let's say my site has men and women. And everyone can see everyone's profile. Now, I'm a man who likes to meet lots of women (I'm a womanizer). Do I really want potential partners to check my friend list with 100 blonde slim women who like sex and don't want kids. May it be a problem for me if the girls I'ld like to meet read all the comments by my previous girlfriends? Won't I be paranoid if I fear those comments and keep erasing the annoying ones?

The same goes for a cougar woman who likes younger men. Don't you think there is a chance that she would like her preference to be kept secret? A 45 year old woman who is friends with only 20 and 30 year old guys.

The same goes for gifts. Maybe some girls are proud to receive lots of gifts. Maybe some other girls don't want anyone to know. Who am I to decide? The simple fact that you have included a restriction (FRIENDS ONLY) tells me that you know that Members somehow want to restrict the information.

I see the temptation to transform a dating site into a community (facebookish) site where a lot of information is displayed. The same happened with Fusion (the aborted new version of OSDate). It was full of comments, such member added such member, such member likes such member etc, such member logged in at 11:32AM, etc

I understand that some webmasters want that and even some users too. And it's cool that they can have it. But there should be a possibility of choice for users. Maybe my niche is quite special (conscious people who dislike the tendency to expose one's private life.)

Some people quit my site just because their profiles appear in Google. I don't want it anymore.
Some people complained back when I had a rating system. I made it disappear overnight.

I don't know ANY professionnal dating site where people pay that displays friends, comments, gifts.  Do you know www.meetic.fr? I believe that this is one of the most efficient dating sites in the world. There's no spying on it.

Those are the limits of WEB 2.0.
And lack of control over one's private life and image is a major issue.
It's even more important than money or ease of use, if you ask me.
It can be a deal breaker.
And as a future VLD buyer I'm a bit annoyed that total privacy is not included by default in the Members' "Account Privacy" options. I wish I could avoid recoding for what appears to me a fundamental option.

I don't want to compete with Facebook. I Hate its lack of privacy. I simply use it a little bit for marketing and because they have a quasi monoply for people to share and have a social life online.

I'm all for empowering my users in an ANTI-FACEBOOK WAY.
It's actually part of the way I present my site: different form Facebook.
People actually demand privacy and serenity (as opposed to the irritating load of distraction and spying on facebook). The social sites out there tend to be annoying in one way or another. (And even Facebook now offers a certain control about privacy.) It's an opportunity to provide something different.

Joining my dating site is a privilege, it's an advantage, it's exclusive.
I respect the fact that Members have certain needs.
Not taking that into account is frustrating and even fascist towards users.
Ultmately, the dating site's functions should let users decide what to display. It's more democratic.
That's the way to grow a base of rabbid users who adore your dating site, if you ask me.

I'd like to get other webmasters' opinions about that.

Do you think Members should be empowered and in control... or should they be forced to have the experience that you have designed for them?

And do you listen to your dating site users? Do you welcome feedback as a dating site webmaster?

My guess is that we are all in niches. Our goal is to make an excellent site... not to satisfy our geeky needs, but to serve people. That's the way they are happy... and happy to pay for the service.

In marketing as in life, quality and respect are essential aspects of our contribution to the world.
And the better our contribution, the more money we get, the happier WE are.

Last edited by SuperZen (2011-02-13 14:16:29)

you could teach me how it's done that?

Wait a minute, of course a PROFILE should be public (and the main photos too). Those complaints are 100% justified. And as a webmaster I would never let a Member hide his/her profile. And it's a good thing you listened to you Members.

If you check again my post, I never talked about hidding a profile altogether. I was only proposing that some elements (comments, visits, gifts, friends) should have three options: always diplayed, restricted to friends only or always hidden. The choice should be left to the Member. It's his/her private life. None will ever complain because he/she couldn't spy on another member's friend list.

Indeed, as webmasters we must not go overboard and make profiles hidden or too cryptic. Allowing members to hide their main photos is not a good idea for instance.